Laughter Amid Tears

Papa couldn’t be gone. It seemed like just yesterday he and Nana last visited our family, even though it had been months earlier. We’d laughed and talked as we dreamed about the future. Papa asked me about my salvation, and told stories he made up on the spot. I watched, mesmerized, as he played “Turkey in the Straw” on his violin, and hung on every word as he patiently taught me to play my own smaller instrument.

If only I’d known I would never hear him play that violin again. What would I have changed about that visit?

I glanced up, seeing my own tear-streaked face reflected on those of my cousins around me. I couldn’t even comprehend what two of my aunts were telling us – something about what it meant to grieve. It just sounded like mumbles, as numb as the tears rolling down my cheeks. How could we keep on living without our beloved grandpa?

Never before had I imagined what Jesus’s family felt like when he was crucified. The sobs of my family on Good Friday, the night Papa died, seemed to bring to life just a fraction of the pain Jesus’ followers must have felt the day He died thousands of years ago. And although Easter Sunday didn’t bring the kind of joy that it did when Jesus rose, it gave my heart a calm feeling, knowing that because my Papa was with Jesus, I would be okay. I finally realized what a sacrifice Jesus’ death really was.

There is no doubt that Christ was with us when my family laughed amid our tears that weekend, when we sang “It Is Well With My Soul” at his funeral, when we said goodbye to my extended family and had to return to life.

Sometimes I’m tempted to blame God for Papa’s death. But I’m constantly reminded that in a sinful world of pain and suffering, God brings hope. He restores our lives and hearts, and we can have a peaceful and joyful relationship with Him because of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Because I chose to turn to God instead of away from Him, I grew closer to Him than ever before.

What seems like the worst experiences often bring us closer to God, if we allow ourselves to trust in Him instead of turning away.